Ultimatum #4
Recap page! That's totally a worthy recap page. I am not a fan of recap pages, and I have the previous issues, and I still went over this recap page. It's an awesome recap page.
We start out where we left off - or was that in Ultimate SpiderMan? Hulk smashing the hell out of Dr. Strange's place. Everything goes white! Crap, did someone say "No more Mutants" again? We're left to wonder what happens.
Kitty Pryde finds his mask. So he must be dead.
A Power-Rangers-sized Dorammu rises from the rubble, with Johnny Storm in his amulet. Dr. Strange is there! Wait, he said Spider-Man sacrificed himself to stop Dorammu. Speculation or fact? We're left to wonder what happens, becauuuuse -
the Master of Mystic Arts gets Anaconda'd to death. Squish.
Next up to fight Dorammu: the Invisible Girl and the Thing! And then... we're left to wonder what happens.
(Pay no attention to the mystery person shrouded in darkness who sighs "Oh Stephen" and teleports the Strange corpse - no pun intended - away. We're left to wonder what happens. Shhh... shhh... I know....)
Choppers shooting at Hulk! Xmen shooting at Choppers! Hulk almost attacking Logan! Hulk deciding to help after a plea from Jean Grey! I guess if I hadn't just finished the Ult. Hulk/Wolverine, I wouldn't be saying "I thought Banner had this under control?" But whatever, if Dr. Strange's house exploded on me, I'd be a little wired, too.
Be careful! You may have missed the text box that barely tells you we're now in the Supreme Power universe. I missed it the first two times. Reed Richards, Doom, Arcana, and Big Barda (I mean Zarda) show up to ell Fury it's time to come home! Fury declines! Barda/Zarda punches his car! Reed brings Fury up to date, and Fury gets to say "I told you so!"
But bang, pow, I did not see the cause of all this coming - oh wait, I did read Ultimates Vol. 4, but that was soooooo long ago... Fury outs Doom! No, not that way. As the cause of all this - he killed the Scarlet Witch. Drive Magneto batty, pick up the pieces as the ruler of the Earth. I never figured Ultimate Doom to be such a _______. I'm going to conquer a ruined Earth? Wimpy wimpy wimpy. Reed and Barda (darn it - Zarda) rage, but Fury said ease off. he could have killed Doom if he wanted to. Ouch.
Cue back to the Ultimate U - Kitty is reviewing "I found his mask but I don't know if he's dead." Logan has picked this time to leave Kitty his "In case I die" box. Full page splash (preview of things to come) - Kitty can't go on this fight, because she's "one of the best" Hmmmm... Kitty and the X-Men? I'd buy it.
Finally, everyone vs. Magneto! Magneto has gone Apocalypse Now. Not to be confused with Apocalypse. Angel first in. Angel first out. Sabretooth starts pulling wings, but he'll just come back as Arch- oh, no, guess not.
Magneto limps away with - Thor's Hammer? WTF? I thought he just got that Factory X prop! Valkyrie shows up! She wants Thor's Hammer! And, just like (Green Lantern Spoiler) Agent Orange, she hacks off a part of the owner as well. Magneto magnent-grabs her sword and - well, cuts her but it's all inked black so we don't know one way or the other. Nick, cut, deep cut, fatality? Again, we're left to wonder what happens. We see her face in the next panel, so I assume a nick.
Cap through the skylight with the shield! Unfortunately, (Old Man Logan Spoiler) Marvel only allows one Captain America shield decapitation per month. Magneto flees to another room, just in time to...
Spout Bible verses! The cad! Logan, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Storm, Hawkeye and iron Man look on, posing as if waiting for next issue to strike!
Oh wait, they are.
Overall:
I know this is supposed to be a crazy roller coaster ride. However, more than six different plotlines can be a bit much. Instead of this really cool kick-*** story, I feel like I'm reading a DC zero-issue that just teases at what's going on.
There's more posturing than fighting in this issue, and I think that's where it loses points for me. Practically everyone in this issue is striking a pose. Everyone. And not like "striking a pose while the battle is going on". As in "my pose is the entire scene while I say something witty or bold."
I love Finch art. I just wish this issue was more than seventeen variations of "Figure standing defiant"
If you haven't picked it up yet, hold off. This issue is just going to depress you.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Review: Wolverine #72
Wolverine #72
-----------------
Short Recap:
Continuation of the Postman-ish Old Man Logan storyline, set in the far future after the heroes lost.
Details:
Page 1 recap of the new United States. I really like this map.
Splash page of the Red Skull triumphant. However, it's Bucky Cap, so it's like the Borg beating Cisco. Megatron defeating Rodimus Prime. It's not really a win the Skull should gloat so hard over in my book.
Oh, crap, is Bucky crying? Really? Give that man a big red S.
I refuse to spoil the awesomeness of the Red Skull's trophy room - and the conversations in it. However, I will say these scenes are 10 times better, if not 100, than the Hulk's Future Imperfect one.
Lackeys come in with dead Hawkeye (who is Hawkeye and not Ronin, thankfully) and dead Logan. Whaaaa? Yeah. Suprise! Possum! However, Old Man Logan vs. Old Man Skull is perfectly done as neither is at the top of their game. Skull grabs the Ebony Blade. Logan grabs... duh duhn duhhhhhh... Thor's hammer! No, not really. Cap's shield. You know he was going to grab that shield.
Villain going "No..." scene
Shield hit.
Shield hit.
Shield hit.
Aw yeah.
Shield hit.
Shield hit.
Logan says "Stay down!" Really? This goes up there with Bucky Cap crying. Really? Is this an episode of Smurfs?
Skull does his best villainesque Die-Hard comment as Logan stands above him with the shield poised to strike.
"Don't make me laugh. You haven't got the guts."
User comment: AAAAAAAGH! I turn the page and have an advertisement here?? AAAGH!!!! And it's double page! %##*!@^!(*^!!!!!
Pleasepleaseplesepleaspleasepleaseplesepleasplease decapitate on the next page. Please. Pun intended.
Spoiler: (Double page-spread of a Wolverine video game ad later...): Oh ***** YES.
Post-Logan-Return-to-glory-bliss later, here come the cannon fodder guards, outside, ready to bust in.
Pleasepleaseplesepleaspleasepleaseplesepleasplease put on the chain mail. Please. Be Cap.
AWWWWWWHHH! Iron Man? Really? Laaaaaaaaaaaaame.
Loan grabs the cash in a nearby suitcase and bolts. What? Why not take over and - oh crap, forgot about his family back home. The rent's due.
Now hot damn, this is great story writing. All those issues crossing the US of A, and I forgot that with the Iron Man armor, its a matter of minutes. That's cool. That's awesome.
Too bad the Banners came by early. Too bad "they were bored", the guy named Donovan outside his house says.
Dead Logans all across the floor of his house.
"You ain't the man you used to be, Logan... Dont go looking for revenge in those hills."
"The name isn't Logan, Bub..."
AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! Another Page I have to flip? Why can't this be a fold-out?!?!?!
Pleasepleaseplesepleaspleasepleaseplesepleasplease let it be snikt. Snikt. Snikt. It's time. Snikt.
Holy smokes. A two page spread of Snikt. Just the word. Two pages. And it's worth it.
"It's Wolverine."
Aw yeah.
Overall:
Now, although I really, really, try to stay away from reading the previews of the comics I plan to buy - I read this preview as soon as it was out. So some of the magic was gone. had I not seen the preview, maybe this, and not New Avengers #51 would have been my favorite of the week. This was a close second.
Story:
We're in the payoff part. Bad guy corpses just HAVE to start lining up to make the miniseries work. Of course this is a blast.
Artwork:
It's McNiven. That's like asking if your VISA card is accepted at the store. Yes. Yes it is.
Final Word:
I'm a sucker for future-post-apolcalypse stories. This is my favorite Wolverine story ever.
-----------------
Short Recap:
Continuation of the Postman-ish Old Man Logan storyline, set in the far future after the heroes lost.
Details:
Page 1 recap of the new United States. I really like this map.
Splash page of the Red Skull triumphant. However, it's Bucky Cap, so it's like the Borg beating Cisco. Megatron defeating Rodimus Prime. It's not really a win the Skull should gloat so hard over in my book.
Oh, crap, is Bucky crying? Really? Give that man a big red S.
I refuse to spoil the awesomeness of the Red Skull's trophy room - and the conversations in it. However, I will say these scenes are 10 times better, if not 100, than the Hulk's Future Imperfect one.
Lackeys come in with dead Hawkeye (who is Hawkeye and not Ronin, thankfully) and dead Logan. Whaaaa? Yeah. Suprise! Possum! However, Old Man Logan vs. Old Man Skull is perfectly done as neither is at the top of their game. Skull grabs the Ebony Blade. Logan grabs... duh duhn duhhhhhh... Thor's hammer! No, not really. Cap's shield. You know he was going to grab that shield.
Villain going "No..." scene
Shield hit.
Shield hit.
Shield hit.
Aw yeah.
Shield hit.
Shield hit.
Logan says "Stay down!" Really? This goes up there with Bucky Cap crying. Really? Is this an episode of Smurfs?
Skull does his best villainesque Die-Hard comment as Logan stands above him with the shield poised to strike.
"Don't make me laugh. You haven't got the guts."
User comment: AAAAAAAGH! I turn the page and have an advertisement here?? AAAGH!!!! And it's double page! %##*!@^!(*^!!!!!
Pleasepleaseplesepleaspleasepleaseplesepleasplease decapitate on the next page. Please. Pun intended.
Spoiler: (Double page-spread of a Wolverine video game ad later...): Oh ***** YES.
Post-Logan-Return-to-glory-bliss later, here come the cannon fodder guards, outside, ready to bust in.
Pleasepleaseplesepleaspleasepleaseplesepleasplease put on the chain mail. Please. Be Cap.
AWWWWWWHHH! Iron Man? Really? Laaaaaaaaaaaaame.
Loan grabs the cash in a nearby suitcase and bolts. What? Why not take over and - oh crap, forgot about his family back home. The rent's due.
Now hot damn, this is great story writing. All those issues crossing the US of A, and I forgot that with the Iron Man armor, its a matter of minutes. That's cool. That's awesome.
Too bad the Banners came by early. Too bad "they were bored", the guy named Donovan outside his house says.
Dead Logans all across the floor of his house.
"You ain't the man you used to be, Logan... Dont go looking for revenge in those hills."
"The name isn't Logan, Bub..."
AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! Another Page I have to flip? Why can't this be a fold-out?!?!?!
Pleasepleaseplesepleaspleasepleaseplesepleasplease let it be snikt. Snikt. Snikt. It's time. Snikt.
Holy smokes. A two page spread of Snikt. Just the word. Two pages. And it's worth it.
"It's Wolverine."
Aw yeah.
Overall:
Now, although I really, really, try to stay away from reading the previews of the comics I plan to buy - I read this preview as soon as it was out. So some of the magic was gone. had I not seen the preview, maybe this, and not New Avengers #51 would have been my favorite of the week. This was a close second.
Story:
We're in the payoff part. Bad guy corpses just HAVE to start lining up to make the miniseries work. Of course this is a blast.
Artwork:
It's McNiven. That's like asking if your VISA card is accepted at the store. Yes. Yes it is.
Final Word:
I'm a sucker for future-post-apolcalypse stories. This is my favorite Wolverine story ever.
Review: Dark Avengers #4
Dark Avengers #5
-------------------------
We start the issue off with Norman doing an interview. Now, this has already been done in another issue so I wasn't looking forward to this, but this was an extended interview, and it really tackled some tough questions/items.
1. Norman saying 'I just need a moment' before they start - awesome. This shows me the house of Norman is a house of glass.
2. Norman saying 'I'm probably just the flavor of the month' - equally awesome and fourth-wall-ish. While I dislike villains-gone-wild, the concept of writers winking at us, telling us 'hold on, the good guys are coming back', helps. It does.
3. Norman defining rationalizing himself as 'the will of the people'. Just scary.
4. The comment 'give the country what it deserves'. Ow ow ow ow.
Switch to the Dark Avengers facing off the Sentry, who is mysteriously back from the dead after last issue. There is nothing I can write here that surpasses the conversation that the Iron Patriot (Osborn to you newbies) has with the Sentry. Needles to say, the Sentry, although probably the least INTENTIONALLY villainous, is till undoubtedly the scariest ***** ****er of all the Dark Avengers.
Back to the interview! Back to (real) Hawkeye's public statement that Norman is a bad guy! Holy Crap! Norman admits to being the Green Goblin? Wow. However, he claims he is cured. That others have taken on the Green Goblin mantle. Spin Doctor!
Now to Avengers Tower. Fake Hawkeye and Fake Spiderman (Bullseye and Venom) are arguing. Ares tries to rally the troops. Well, he slaps Bullseye. Then he tries to do a Captain America speech. Bulls-hawk-eye appears to follow the leader. Why do I think this will lead to Bulls-hawk-eye killing Phobos (his son)? I think it will.
Apparently Norman drugs his Avengers into behaving. I would rant about how wrong this is, but have you ever been to a horse show in real life? Same thing happens.
Back to the interview. Norman basically says "Hawkeye (real) was a convict who became an Avenger. Why can't I be one?" Ouch. Never thought of it that way.
Ares goes home. Phobos not home. Ares sees that Phobos has stopped going to school. Ares make angry face. Ok, seriously? What, is Ares is worried about the S.O.L.'s? Really? Come on.
Back to the interview. Spin spin spin.
Now back to "The Real World - Dark Avengers". Awww snap! Moonstone-Ms. Marvel seduces Marvel Boy-Captain Marvel! Bulls-Hawk-eye looks on as the door closes. Does his heart belong to Marvel Boy or Ms. Marvel? Maybe both? We're left to wonder.
Now over to Los Angeles. Super Soaker attack! Seriously, I'm not getting the super-soaker-attack thing. I mean, just dumb. Oh good. Flying Manta Ray Super Soaker Attack. That makes just SO much more sense. This part was the DUFF (Dumb Ugly Fat Friend) of the hotness of the rest of the issue.
Back to Ms Marvel Moonstone and Captain Marvel Boy. Pillow talk. Ms Marvel Moonstone lays down some more of her mental trappery as - THIS JUST IN! Atlantis Attacks II!
Norman's best line:
"Avengers... You know. Get them together."
Classic!
My favorite issue of the week!
-------------------------
We start the issue off with Norman doing an interview. Now, this has already been done in another issue so I wasn't looking forward to this, but this was an extended interview, and it really tackled some tough questions/items.
1. Norman saying 'I just need a moment' before they start - awesome. This shows me the house of Norman is a house of glass.
2. Norman saying 'I'm probably just the flavor of the month' - equally awesome and fourth-wall-ish. While I dislike villains-gone-wild, the concept of writers winking at us, telling us 'hold on, the good guys are coming back', helps. It does.
3. Norman defining rationalizing himself as 'the will of the people'. Just scary.
4. The comment 'give the country what it deserves'. Ow ow ow ow.
Switch to the Dark Avengers facing off the Sentry, who is mysteriously back from the dead after last issue. There is nothing I can write here that surpasses the conversation that the Iron Patriot (Osborn to you newbies) has with the Sentry. Needles to say, the Sentry, although probably the least INTENTIONALLY villainous, is till undoubtedly the scariest ***** ****er of all the Dark Avengers.
Back to the interview! Back to (real) Hawkeye's public statement that Norman is a bad guy! Holy Crap! Norman admits to being the Green Goblin? Wow. However, he claims he is cured. That others have taken on the Green Goblin mantle. Spin Doctor!
Now to Avengers Tower. Fake Hawkeye and Fake Spiderman (Bullseye and Venom) are arguing. Ares tries to rally the troops. Well, he slaps Bullseye. Then he tries to do a Captain America speech. Bulls-hawk-eye appears to follow the leader. Why do I think this will lead to Bulls-hawk-eye killing Phobos (his son)? I think it will.
Apparently Norman drugs his Avengers into behaving. I would rant about how wrong this is, but have you ever been to a horse show in real life? Same thing happens.
Back to the interview. Norman basically says "Hawkeye (real) was a convict who became an Avenger. Why can't I be one?" Ouch. Never thought of it that way.
Ares goes home. Phobos not home. Ares sees that Phobos has stopped going to school. Ares make angry face. Ok, seriously? What, is Ares is worried about the S.O.L.'s? Really? Come on.
Back to the interview. Spin spin spin.
Now back to "The Real World - Dark Avengers". Awww snap! Moonstone-Ms. Marvel seduces Marvel Boy-Captain Marvel! Bulls-Hawk-eye looks on as the door closes. Does his heart belong to Marvel Boy or Ms. Marvel? Maybe both? We're left to wonder.
Now over to Los Angeles. Super Soaker attack! Seriously, I'm not getting the super-soaker-attack thing. I mean, just dumb. Oh good. Flying Manta Ray Super Soaker Attack. That makes just SO much more sense. This part was the DUFF (Dumb Ugly Fat Friend) of the hotness of the rest of the issue.
Back to Ms Marvel Moonstone and Captain Marvel Boy. Pillow talk. Ms Marvel Moonstone lays down some more of her mental trappery as - THIS JUST IN! Atlantis Attacks II!
Norman's best line:
"Avengers... You know. Get them together."
Classic!
My favorite issue of the week!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
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