Plus One, Minus One Reviews: Secret Invasion #7

Plus One, Minus One scorecard

-1 “The Earth is now part of the Skrull Empire”

Whoa. Back up. I thought the purpose was that they thought Earth was religiously destined to make this new throneworld. There’s a big difference. To me it’s the equivalent of “They’re opening a new Wal-Mart on Earth” vs. “The new Wal-Mart headquarters is Earth”. Already, I’m thinking, “do the writers even remember the plot?”

Score: -1

-1 It’s a random assortment of characters on the title page. Yes, I know it’s a lot of people. But why list 24? Why not just the Avengers?

Score: -2

+1 Green boxes around the confirmed Skrulls

Score: -1

-1 Spider-Woman BEHIND all the guys saying “get Spider-Woman”. How hard would it have been to draw them approaching her?

Score: -2

-1 When are Ares and Thor Brothers? They’re not black.

Score: -3

-1 Why do some heroes get word labels, some don’t? Yes, I guess I’m OCD about this.

Score: -4

+1 Fury/Osborn banter

Score: -3

+1 Three consecutive rump shots of the wasp.

Score: -2

-1 Wolverine dry-humping a Skrull. Never acceptable.

Score: -3

+1 Very Buffy-esque Skrull “if you;re going to turn it into a thing”

Score: -2

+1 Two Buffy lines in a row. Nice one, Stature.

Score: -1

-1 Bullseye gets a word label, Spider-Man does not. Wow.

Score: -2

+1 Nine Invisible Women Attack. I would surrender.
+1 OK, Sue’s my favorite, so that makes it extra naughty

Score: 0

+1 “I can see through you” - so witty.

Score: 1

+1 Howard the Duck? Missed that the first time.

Score: 2

+1 I know it’s not the REAL Galactus, as he does not use a “G” on his outfit, but still. Pretty funny to see a beat-down.

Score: 3

-1 Two pages for Jewel to decide to enter the battle? Eh.

Score: 2

-1 Noh-Varr arrives, but it doesn’t show him wearing the Skrull Nega-Bands. I was really expecting that.

Score: 1

+1 “I’ll take these” - FINALLY

Score: 2

+1 “I need a little” - Baby, we ALL need a little from time to time.

Score: 3

-1 Eh. Come on, we know they’re not going to die. “Something weird happens!” Yeah, I’ll be wringing my hands until the next issue. Yawn.

Final Score: 2

So overall, more good moments than bad. The banter saved it, but the plot still is pretty shaky. The Skrulls attacking now is kind of like going “all in” on the second card. Sure, you may have two aces, but maybe you should have played it a bit slower with the competition.

I guess I’m not seeing the purpose of a secret invasion if the main goal was to just attack Earth. Why use any subterfuge then?

I do think Bendis got shorted though. If none of the regular titles acknowledge the Skrull Invasion, or the before/after parts, how important was it, overall? It’s like going to a party, someone telling you Monday “You were there? You missed the fight!“ and thinking “I was there - no one mentioned anything, and I was there all night. So how big could this fight have been?“

Secret Invasion got devalued by not having any lasting implications for this first year. Seriously, they couldn’t work SOMETHING into any issue of FF, Thor, X-Men, Captain America, Iron Man, or Hulk? Wow, this is a really important crossover. Huge, lasting effects.

I feel bad for Bendis, because I see where it could have gone, but I also see where the line was drawn, too. Go nuts with the C-listers, but nothing else.

When you combine all these special one-shots, mini-series, and lack of Avengers in Avengers titles, this was Marvel’s “Countdown”. It just used higher-ranked heroes than DC did.