Sunday, August 31, 2008

Friday, August 29, 2008

Thursday, August 28, 2008

In Praise of the Local Comic Shop

OK, I'm taking a break from the daily attempt at humor to write about something important.

Your Local Comic Shop.

Now if you're reading this blog, you probably already go to one. I mean, let's be serious, you need at least 10 short boxes in your back room just to get half my jokes. And I'm cool with that. I'm not doing this site for a profit, or to get recognized. I wanted to make a site for old-school fanboys, for people picking up all issues of the crossover, who wasted money on the mini-series that immediately was retconned. Plus I'm crazy, I think.

Man, I bet I just lost everyone else. Their eyes glazed over at "shortbox" and they went back to

Anyways, for those of you still with us, I think the LCS, Local Comic Shop, not Ladies Chapsticking Sensually, is awesome.

Dangit, now I'm started to get distracted about Ladies Chapsticking Sensually.


TOP 10 REASONS (why your Local Comic Shop is awesome)

1. When the people working there know MORE than you, you say to yourself, "Alright! I'm not the biggest comic geek in my zip code"

2. When the people working there know LESS than you, you say to yourself, "Alright! I'm all super-knowledgable!" as if you won Comic Book Jeopardy.

3. When hot girls are in there. Now I'm spoken for, so there are two views:
- Pre-being-spoken-for:
a. Very nice. Yes, I quoted Borat.
b. She reads comics? Holy cow. "In a relationship? But does he buy indy titles?"

- Post-being-spoken-for:
a. Kind of like being the old guy in any "young guy fails, regains his courage movie".
You give a knowing glance, and inspire them to go for first place.
b. You say "well, she reads comics, but she's not prettier than my girl."

4. Flipping through the book you thought you wanted, but after flipping, said no.

5. Finding a rare book you just know you'd never find in a mega-book-store.

6. Quarter bins.

7. Overhearing personal drama of a comic book geek. You would think comic book geeks would be all "buy the book, then run home" but nooooo, it's like a soap opera in there sometimes. And it's not "that girl won't talk to me" - it's usually "that girl won't talk to me because she's only allowed one phone call in jail and needs to call her husband."

8. Free Comic Book Day. It's like Mardi Gras for fanboys.

9. Most geeks I know don't imagine owning their own bar, their own garage, their own brothel. Brothel?! Oh, good, you're still reading. But most geeks do think, maybe one day, they would run their own shop. It makes us think about the future, and what ifs - and that's a good thing to think about the future. No, not the Marvel "What If" series. Stop being such a comic geek.

10. I don't see most of the LCS owners driving Porsches, owning boats, having two mistresses. These guys are in it because they love what they're doing. And I can respect that.

So, that's my soapbox speech. I hope it was entertaining, maybe illuminating. And as always, if you know someone that reads comics, then feel free to pass my site along. Hey, Parody comics on the shelf are awesome, but who does it for FREE? I do.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. My Comic Shop is Trilogy Comics

Skrully Downtime - Wizkids Edition

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Marvel Odyssey - a.k.a. Modesy

Apparently my powers can be used for classic literature, as well as hero comics.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Superman UnReturns

So the buzz today is about retconning Superman Returns.

(retcon = a type of Dallas-it-was-all-a-dream change)

How can they retcon and not blow people's minds?
(No one accepts a Dallas solution anymore)

Here are my ideas, at least the ones that would appease fanboys.

Sub-Mariner*: The Depths (* does not appear in this preview)

And... I was able to avoid any submarine jokes.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Iron Man 33 Parody - Always Use the Translator

Woo hoo! Still got it.

Magneto: Testy Mint Preview

This actually looks like a good story - but all year-one's usually are...

Monday, August 18, 2008


You may be wondering - where's any new stuff? Well, two weeks on the road will do that to you. Still looking for that MS Paint clone, so nothing new when it's just me & the Mac.

Soon. Soon, I will overfeed the internet with parody. Soon.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Monday, August 4, 2008

Skrully Downtime II

Skrulls. Quiet time. Deep Skrully thoughts.