Friday, June 5, 2009

Review: Dark Avengers #4

Dark Avengers #5

We start the issue off with Norman doing an interview. Now, this has already been done in another issue so I wasn't looking forward to this, but this was an extended interview, and it really tackled some tough questions/items.

1. Norman saying 'I just need a moment' before they start - awesome. This shows me the house of Norman is a house of glass.

2. Norman saying 'I'm probably just the flavor of the month' - equally awesome and fourth-wall-ish. While I dislike villains-gone-wild, the concept of writers winking at us, telling us 'hold on, the good guys are coming back', helps. It does.

3. Norman defining rationalizing himself as 'the will of the people'. Just scary.

4. The comment 'give the country what it deserves'. Ow ow ow ow.

Switch to the Dark Avengers facing off the Sentry, who is mysteriously back from the dead after last issue. There is nothing I can write here that surpasses the conversation that the Iron Patriot (Osborn to you newbies) has with the Sentry. Needles to say, the Sentry, although probably the least INTENTIONALLY villainous, is till undoubtedly the scariest ***** ****er of all the Dark Avengers.

Back to the interview! Back to (real) Hawkeye's public statement that Norman is a bad guy! Holy Crap! Norman admits to being the Green Goblin? Wow. However, he claims he is cured. That others have taken on the Green Goblin mantle. Spin Doctor!

Now to Avengers Tower. Fake Hawkeye and Fake Spiderman (Bullseye and Venom) are arguing. Ares tries to rally the troops. Well, he slaps Bullseye. Then he tries to do a Captain America speech. Bulls-hawk-eye appears to follow the leader. Why do I think this will lead to Bulls-hawk-eye killing Phobos (his son)? I think it will.

Apparently Norman drugs his Avengers into behaving. I would rant about how wrong this is, but have you ever been to a horse show in real life? Same thing happens.

Back to the interview. Norman basically says "Hawkeye (real) was a convict who became an Avenger. Why can't I be one?" Ouch. Never thought of it that way.

Ares goes home. Phobos not home. Ares sees that Phobos has stopped going to school. Ares make angry face. Ok, seriously? What, is Ares is worried about the S.O.L.'s? Really? Come on.

Back to the interview. Spin spin spin.

Now back to "The Real World - Dark Avengers". Awww snap! Moonstone-Ms. Marvel seduces Marvel Boy-Captain Marvel! Bulls-Hawk-eye looks on as the door closes. Does his heart belong to Marvel Boy or Ms. Marvel? Maybe both? We're left to wonder.

Now over to Los Angeles. Super Soaker attack! Seriously, I'm not getting the super-soaker-attack thing. I mean, just dumb. Oh good. Flying Manta Ray Super Soaker Attack. That makes just SO much more sense. This part was the DUFF (Dumb Ugly Fat Friend) of the hotness of the rest of the issue.

Back to Ms Marvel Moonstone and Captain Marvel Boy. Pillow talk. Ms Marvel Moonstone lays down some more of her mental trappery as - THIS JUST IN! Atlantis Attacks II!

Norman's best line:
"Avengers... You know. Get them together."

My favorite issue of the week!

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